I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
