just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
