i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize