She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Your cock deserves a montage
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
