I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I will pee on everything he values.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
