May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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