Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
