I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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