no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
