What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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