If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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