come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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