Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
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