Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
