i don't like sucking hair
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
people are starting to question the shark bite story
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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