If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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