It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
