Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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