just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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