we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
