I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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