its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
