He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize