turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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