Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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