hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
