I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Walk of Shame today included voting.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
