Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
