Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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