I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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