I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
