i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
