You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She even gives head with a lisp.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
