Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
