dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
