I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Congratulations! We have a period
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
