Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
