I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Shame - the story of my life.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
