maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
