if i died would you start the facebook group?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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