my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
