she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
