why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
