I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
