In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
