i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
