In the future we'll all be gay
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
