1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
