after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
