My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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