You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
